Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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