sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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