Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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