Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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