I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Two words: blizzard sex
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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