the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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