There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you told grandpa to call you daddy
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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