$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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