brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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