He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize