I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize