I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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