the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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