well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
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the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
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somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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