i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize