Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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