you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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