He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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