oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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