in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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