i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize