he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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