He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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