1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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