Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize