Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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