he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
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Princesses don't give blow jobs
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
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I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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