I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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