I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize