The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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