now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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