my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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