Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
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