Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
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I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
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I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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