I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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