I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
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my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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