Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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