Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
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So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
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Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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