I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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