tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize