last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize