Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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