What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize