Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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