theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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