Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
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He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
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he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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