Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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