so that wasnt chicken after all
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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