stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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