I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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